January 2026 Storm Predictions.

Prediction #1: power will go out somewhere in Texas due to ice.

Prediction #2: some dumb ass (probably Indian or Somali) will die of carbon monoxide poisoning when they fire up a generator INSIDE the house. They will likely also kill the other 17 people who live there.

Prediction #3: cosplay cowboy Clayton will blame Sid Miller, AI data centers, Greg Abbott and “the damn grid” for the preceding events.

Book it.

My plans for this ice storm include watching my DoorDasher hydroplane into a telephone pole then calling ICE instead of an ambulance. Oh, and also bashing Clayton Tucker for two days straight while drinking non-stop, pausing only to put more logs on the fire.