You’d think a kid whose goats are dying left and right from neglect and incompetence might spend a little more time at the “ranch” and less time crying about Internet connectivity.…
But you’d be wrong. He’s back up on his horse tilting at windmills.
This was a big issue many years ago and is now pretty much solved by Nextlink and Starlink and other free-market satellite-based companies, but Comrade Clayton (always fighting a battle from 5 years ago that is already won by the free market) is apparently unaware of Nextlink and Starlink. Either that, or his hatred of Elon Musk precludes him from seeing this very simple solution.
[Hey wait, wasn’t Joe Biden supposed to connect rural areas to the Internet with that $42 BILLION he spent?!? But Comrade Clayton doesn’t want to bring that up – he wants to blame evil Republicans!!]
His latest puddle of word diarrhea is filled with the usual lies, hyperbole, omissions and downright bullshit. Let’s tear it apart, shall we? Then I’ll instruct Comrade Clayton on how to get great Internet so he can stop crying like a pussy over this once and for all.
Comrade Clayton starts off with a bullshit story about a 911 call from “several years ago” and throws in the word “ain’t” one time to PROVE to you he’s just a southern-fried rube with cotton-picking grandparents.
He likes to paint himself as a “rural dude” and “rancher,” but he is neither. He grew up in Georgetown and only came to Lampasas in 2016 after failing at life because he needed to live in mom’s house.
Lampasas is hardly podunk “rural” either – we have a Starbucks and everything! There are at LEAST 5 cell towers in the area and TWO of them are within 1.3 miles of Comrade’s mom’s house where he lives – right smack in the center of town…
Cell tower range is 25 miles in good conditions, but I’ll use 20 miles to be conservative. If you know your math to calculate area of a circle (πr2) that means EACH cell tower covers about 1,200 square miles! The entire county of Lampasas is just over 700 square miles, FYI.
So there is plenty of coverage. If some dumb fuck hits a fiber line with a backhoe, that is not the GOP’s fault. That is just life, brother. Shit happens and you roll with it. Unless, of course, you are an only child and momma’s boy who still lives at home and has never faced any hardships in your entire life. Then you lose your shit and go upstairs to tweet demands for free shit all day long.
If you own a BIG BUSINESS (Clayton does not) where uninterrupted Internet is VITAL to your bottom line, you are free to pay a little more for Starlink and get very reliable speeds of about 100 mbs. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping anyone from doing that, thanks to a guy Clayton has deluded himself into thinking is Hitler. But his delusions are his own problem, not ours OR the GOPs. So again….fuck off if you’re boycotting Starlink. You have only yourself to blame for your own stupidity and delusions.
I actually DO live out in the boondocks. So I’m WAY more of a “rural dude” than that asswipe. I used to have Viasat but it was expensive and it sucked, so you know what I did four years ago? No, I didn’t whine to the government about democracy and demand free shit like that pussy socialist does.
You see, a pussy immediately cries for “big government” to give him “free stuff” to fix everything and powder his ass and put a clean diaper back on for him. A real man finds a solution himself.
(Or maybe just move on back to the “big city” of Georgetown, you silly twat. Oh right: mom doesn’t have a house there for you to live in anymore. My bad.)
So, I looked at alternatives! The free market and capitalism have provided many. Nextlink refused to let me use a mast I already have on my house for a cell signal booster and they wanted to mount a tripod and dish on my roof. Fuck that. I never let ANYONE put holes in my roof for anything. Just a hang-up I have. I also didn’t want to shell out $500 or $600 for Starlink startup costs.
I ultimately settled on a half-assed jerry rig with an AT&T hockey puck thing. I have no clue how it works, nor do I care. I pay $90 per month and get great speeds – here is today’s speed measurement….
Enough for our family to use whatever devices we want simultaneously. End of story. If I had a BUSINESS and Internet was EXTREMELY important, I’d have shelled out the $$$ for Starlink. New end of story.
But those solutions require you to open your wallet and put in some effort. Piece of shit socialists like Clayton Tucker refuse to do either of those, so he’s left throwing tantrums like an infant for “free stuff” from Daddy Big Gov, like a 22-year-old single welfare mom.
Comrade Clayton uses very old data to “prove” his points while ALSO moving the goal posts from “internet access” to “access at ADEQUATE SPEEDS“! OH! So what constitutes “adequate,” you disingenuous clown??
“Just there for the photo op?” You mean like this?
The first link to the “7 million Texans” brings you to data from the LAST census – over five years ago! Other data in his “proof” link is from a 2016 report. LOL. Come on, comrade. You can do better than that.
Now to the finale – to stop you from crying for the next ten years, here is how you do Starlink:
Yes, Starlink is generally considered very easy to set up, requiring minimal technical expertise. The process involves finding a clear view of the sky, plugging in the dish, connecting to the Starlink app, and allowing the dish to find satellites.
Here’s a more detailed breakdown:
1. Finding a Clear View: Use the Starlink app’s “Check for Obstructions” tool to identify a location with an unobstructed view of the sky.
2. Mounting the Dish: Starlink kits come with a kickstand for ground placement, or you can opt for roof or pole mounts.
3. Plugging In: Connect the dish to a power source and plug in the cable.
4. Connecting to the App: Use the Starlink app to guide you through the setup process.
5. Auto-Alignment: The Starlink dish automatically aligns itself to connect with satellites.
6. Setting Up Wi-Fi: Use the app to name your Wi-Fi network and set a password.
7. Initial Delay: Allow a few minutes for the dish to connect and the software to download updates.
8. Potential Initial Slowdown: Be aware that speeds might be slower for the first 12 hours as the system optimizes its connection.
Surely, a super-smart college-educated socialist can manage this? The $500 initial fee shouldn’t be a problem either since you are out there buying brand-new 2025 fagmobiles with no problem whatsoever.
You’re welcome. Now please stfu about the Internet and find something useful to do, you useless turd.