I am going to greatly enjoy watching a gigantic fucking loser like Comrade Clayton Tucker try and bash J.D. Vance – who is 10x the man Comrade Clayton is. It is hilarious to me. It means I get to point out the huge differences and laugh as Comrade Clayton marinades in envy juice for the next four months until Trump and Vance are elected to run this country.
Background and upbringing:
J.D. Vance was born into abject poverty. His parents were complete fuckups and his grandparents weren’t much better. His parents divorced when he was a toddler and his mother was a drug addict. His grandparents were alcoholics. His family had a history of poverty and low-paying, physical jobs.
Comrade Clayton was born into a very comfortable, upper-middle-class existence. Mom had a cushy government job with the Railroad Commission and dad had a solid job in the aerospace industry. Mommy’s parents had a chunk of land where Comrade Clayton could go frolic with the goats and pretend to be a rancher. Mom and Dad paid approximately $80,000 for Comrade Clayton to attend Southwestern University and obtain a useless degree in “International Relations.” Comrade Clayton is an only child, and thus doted on like a complete pussy.
J.D. Vance enlisted in the Marine Corps after high school.
Comrade Clayton traveled around Asia on someone else’s dime and pretended to be a photographer while prancing around with elephants (and probably ladyboys, too!)
J.D. Vance then somehow got into YALE law school – despite having ZERO connections (remember, he was born into a poor, hillbilly family). Upon graduation, he worked for Sidley Austin and then moved to San Francisco to work in the tech industry. At age 32, Harper published Vance’s book, Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis. It was on The New York Times Best Seller list in 2016 and 2017. It was a finalist for the 2017 Dayton Literary Peace Prize and winner of the 2017 Audie Award for Nonfiction. The New York Times called it “one of the six best books to help understand Trump’s win“. The Washington Post called him the “voice of the Rust Belt“
After Comrade Clayton was done prancing with elephants and (probably) ladyboys, he returned home broke and unemployed and became a “community organizer” for a Bernie Sanders communist splinter group called “Our Revolution Texas” (now defunct) – where he bummed around with other unemployed commie losers like Kristi Lara and Julie Oliver. He also pretended to be a cowboy complete with gay pronouns…
Oh, and he likely paid $6,000 of grandpa’s inheritance to “publish” a forgettable and trite ‘book’ on Amazon which has probably ‘sold’ a dozen copies to family members and those taking pity on poor, rudderless Comrade Clayton.
J.D. Vance won a senate seat at age 38 on his very first try and just became a vice-presidential candidate at age 39. He also grows a wicked beard. Reportedly, all of his staff are dudes about six feet tall who smoke cigarettes like chimneys. He has a wife and three kids.
Comrade Clayton is age 33 1/2 and still living with mom. He got his ass kicked in multiple political campaigns already – being drubbed by Dawn Buckingham and then dismantled by Zac Morris. Now, he is pretending to be a rancher on grandpa’s property. Unfortunately it isn’t going very well – Comrade Clayton has a penchant for killing many of his goats due to his lack of knowledge about ‘ranching.’ Luckily, mom is there to buy him new ones.
He is only capable of growing a sparse, mangy nanny-goat shit patch on his chin…and likely the only thing he smokes is Robert O’Rourke’s penis, on occasion. No wife, no kids, no girlfriend and no prospects.
Sad.
Final verdict?
J.T. Vance: Giga Chad
Comrade Clayton: Giga Choad
But yes, Comrade Clayton – by all means go out there and try to disparage J.D. Vance as some kind of idiot who doesn’t understand the “working man.” I’m sure that will work out well for you.
