At the last City council meeting, Mandy tried to intimate [go to the 1:19:35 mark in the video] that the LEDC is a bargain for the City and how they hardly spend any money at all! In fact, she has a little story she tells to the kids at school:
“When I do this at career day at school, I like to use the iPad example, cause somehow that just resonates with all the children. Say you buy an iPad here in Lampasas for $574, you can see the breakdown there of what the EDC actually collects to use for economic development purposes – which is $1.43. So we have to be very wise…with our spending” [sarcasm and smirk here]
[Editor: Jesus H Christ – iPads cost almost $600?? Are you shitting me? Out here in the real world, those of us without a government Nerf job would get a Samsung or something for about $200 less. But when you work for Lampasas City government, you can afford to waste money on such frivolities, I guess. Mandy probably has two of them. But I digress…]
Awwww….she only costs you $1.43! Ho ho ho! We have to be very wise with that $1.43! Ho ho ho! Such a paltry amount! Such a pittance, really!
She’s such a card. She’s also pulling the wool over the eyes of those kids.
If I followed Mandy at “career day”, I’d have to make a few clarifications for the little nippers when I got up to stand at the front of the room. It might go something like this:
“Well kids, that $1.43 might not sound like a lot, but the reality is that it is more like 305,000 iPads we are talking about, which is the equivalent of every man, woman and child in the City buying FORTY overpriced Apple gadgets – since the LEDC skims $330,000 per year AND Ms. Walsh also costs the taxpayers about $107,000 in salary and benefits!”
“They then take most of that money and set it on fire in a big field on south highway 183. They call it the “business park” but really it is just a big money bonfire. You like bonfires, right kids??“
“Since this is Career Day, you should DEFINITELY think about being an Economic Development Director as a career. That $107,000 she costs taxpayers like your Daddy is WAY more than a worker in the private sector (like your mom or dad) gets! Your mom or dad probably only makes a THIRD of that money! Look how poor they are on the chart compared to her! Suckers!!“
“But it gets better! Unlike your mom or dad, she can NEVER BE FIRED! That’s called an “intangible” benefit, but it is very real, I can assure you. City workers don’t get fired! Even if their incompetence causes the wreckage of tens of thousands of dollars of computer equipment!“
Furthermore, you don’t have to do any hard or icky work. No sweating or getting doody or poopy on your hands. No, you get to play on Facebook all day and hit “REPOST” on stuff that hard-working, risk-taking small businesses owners post! Cool, right? Like The Rolling Pin:
“And here is the VERY best part besides the massive salary and benefits and never getting fired and playing on Facebook a lot: there is NO WAY to judge her performance! That’s right! Every single business that comes to town…SHE CAN TAKE CREDIT FOR! Whataburger…Cefco…Burger King…Best Western. She can take credit for all of it! HAHAHAHAHA! There is no way to prove that they would have come here anyways!“
Ain’t government Nerf work great, kids??