It’s the season for giving and generosity, and I am no exception to that rule. It’s especially important to give to the less fortunate – like those humans who were born with a puddle of brown liquid where their cerebrum should be.
Last year, I gave the gift of Goldfish tree ornaments to City council in their $1.5 million goldfish bowl.
This year, I want to make sure local Covid Rat Julie Cain Landrum at Wool & Vine gets a special present. One she can use EVERY DAY. One that keeps her safe from the deadly plague. Something that is so airtight and functional that it DOESN’T MATTER if anyone else in HEB is wearing a mask. So you can mind your own business and stop ratting everyone out.
I give you…..the Narwall Mask:
Now Julie, I expect to see you wearing this at ALL TIMES! You can never be too careful, right? It’ll be delivered to your lemonade stand in the next few days with a nice bow on top.
Merry Christmas!