For 14 years now, Monica Can’t-Wright has been polishing a seat in the IT department for the City of Lampasas. First as a basic drone and then later, she was (incredibly) elevated to “IT Director”. I suspect she was made “Director” and someone else hired as her underling because they needed someone who actually knew how to turn on a computer but didn’t have the heart to fire her. It’s the only explanation that makes sense to me.
Yet for 14 years, she has not earned ONE SINGLE certification in the area of network administration that would usually be considered a MUST for her job.
What are normal requirements for her august job title? A recent job posting gives us an idea.
Take the City of Copperas Cove, for example. They recently posted a “help wanted” ad looking for a new Director of Information Systems. According to the ad, “applicants must currently hold AT LEAST ONE of the following computer certifications: A+, Network+, Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) or equivalent; or be able to obtain at least one of these certifications within 6 months of employment in the position“.
Most of you don’t know what those mean. Here is a summary of each:
A+ – certification represents entry-level competency as a computer technician and is a vendor neutral certification that covers various technologies and operating systems. By 2014, over one million people worldwide had earned A+ certification. Expires in 3 years. Certification prior to January 1, 2011, is considered good-for-life (GFL) and does not expire.
Network + – is a CompTIA computer networking certification that includes computer network concepts, installation and configuration, media and topologies, management, and security [emphasis mine]
MCP – The Microsoft Certified Professional or MCP Program is the certification program from Microsoft that enables IT Professionals and Developers to validate their technical expertise through rigorous, industry-proven, and industry-recognized exams.
Monica, the supposed HEAD of the IT Department, possesses none of these. Not one.
These all seem extremely basic. WAY easier than the types of certifications someone in her position should have after 14 years. Private sector network people (the kind who EARN their pay) go much further with certifications like their CCENT or CCNA or CCNP. Neither Monica nor her underling Kristy Acevedo possess any of those three. Shocking, I know.
[I have spoken with a FORMER City of Lampasas Network administrator who worked under Monica before Acevedo was hired. HE possessed some of these certifications. He also eventually quit because (as he made clear to me in person) “Monica has no F*@&#^ing idea what the hell she is doing” (this is a paraphrase by me)]
The REALLY sad part is that the City of Lampasas would very likely FULLY PAY for these certifications as beginning continuing education for Monica so that she could actually learn to do her job, rather than farming out tens of thousands of dollars to TSM Consulting, Watchgaurd, and others. The only reason I can come up with as to why this hasn’t happened in FOURTEEN YEARS is that Monica isn’t capable of passing them.
The City manager is complicit in this as well, for failing to ensure a competent IT professional is in charge. As is City council, since Spinley supposedly answers to them. You might think a massive cyber attack back in August that cost the city tens of thousands of dollars in ruined equipment and overtime might make them ask some tough questions.
Nope. They not only didn’t ask any questions, they stonewalled me from asking any myself with City attorney Jo-Christy Brown. So there has STILL (5 months later) never been an explanation as to how it all went down.
Finley “Elmo” deGraffenreid will continue to make The Seven Goldfish dance to his tune in 2020, I’m guessing!