January – dozens of Lampassholes are lured into the CorVive pyramid-shaped scheme with promises of small waists and riches galore. Neither happened.
February – The multi-million dollar ‘Business Park’ continues to house zero businesses. Promises of $250,000 in annual revenue (LOL) prove to be false years later. Roughly $300,000 has been wasted just in interest payments ALONE.
March – The $1,500,000.00 Talbert/deGraffenreid Vanity Project is delayed due to….an overpriced elevator.
April – I use a lawyer to obtain internal City Hall emails about the no-bid Azbell $94,000 A/V system for the fancy new City council chambers. Damning emails are secured – proving Spinley lied outright and Monica deliberately tried to hide the true costs of this abomination.
May – Misti Talbert re-elected to second term. City spends $250,000 this month just on City employee benefits like retirement and health insurance.
May – IT Director Monica Wright’s payroll history report shows just how little she actually works.
June – Pope Eckermann is handed $100,000 to ‘develop’ the ‘Business Park’. This is a bargain compared to the $125,000 he wanted a month earlier. Also, two clowns and a dwarf make trouble.
July – Monica sez “Me Talk Pretty One Day”
August – Budget process in full swing. We see just how wildly overpaid our IT Department is.
August – Murderer dumps a corpse in the “Business Park”…no doubt lured by the fact it is completely and totally empty and devoid of any activity at all. As it has been for many, many years.
August 16th – Ten day ransomware attack occurs…which I estimate did roughly $40,000 in damage. This resulted in zero repercussions for our IT geniuses except praise from the mayor for a job well done. Seriously, that did happen.
August 30th – Spinley and the Seven Goldfish decide to squander $185,000 on a no-bid bathroom for a park nobody uses. Whether this is laziness or crookedness, I leave to the reader.
September – Former council member Chris Harrison joined S2M2 and then went begging to his former council buddies for $150,000 for his new development company. He was successful.
September 14th – Business Park STILL not ‘shovel ready’
September 18th – Greasy Chris Harrison is still full of shit.
September 19th – Glossary of Terms for this blog is born.
September 30th – City hires charlatans to post a survey on SurveyMonkey – which is basically a free site – so local bozos can whine about wanting a Starbucks. They waste $120,000 doing this.
October – Assistant City Manager Gary Cox was fired for resigned because….well, Spinley and the Goldfish know why 😉
October – City manages to get through HUGE art festival with only $500 worth of rental toilets. This does not dissuade Spinley and The Seven Goldfish from their previous plan to torch $185,000 in taxpayer funds to build a permanent bathroom there. Did I mention this was yet another NO-BID CONTRACT??
October – A whole bunch of City employees, politicians (and even a wife!) blow over $4,000 in tax dollars to attend the Texas Municipal League annual convention. Why? Good question.
November – Police Department makes the costly (but probably smart, given the IT Department’s incompetence) decision to remove their video archives from the bungling hands of Monica and Kristy and instead pay big bucks to REAL IT experts. Why? See: Ransomware attack.
November – Goldfish get confused when rational people respond to their economic incentives – namely, handing out tax dollars to developers. ‘Goldfish Economics’ is born.
December – the Talbert/deGraffenreid $1.5 million vanity project finally opened…a year late and nearly $500,000 over budget. Spinley and the Goldfish STILL under the false impression it “only” cost $1.02 million. The final punctuation mark to this sad joke is RKJ kicking deGraffenreid in the nuts. Oh, and the “visual” part of the $95,000 A/V system is too complicated for Monica to figure out, I think, since they aren’t using it.
December also marked my first foray (look it up, Monica) into Microsoft Paint. Don’t worry, I’ll get WAY better in the year 2020. Can’t wait!!
Whew! That is a LOT of incompetence in just one year. I would be shocked if they can top all this in 2020, but I can’t wait to find out! Happy New Year!