For those of you living under a rock, the geniuses at City Hall (and the LEDC) have recently retained Halff Associates, a ‘consulting’ firm, to help “plan the future of Lampasas”.
I have largely ignored this fiasco because it is such a terrible idea and a colossal waste of time. The kinds of people who will answer this survey are the same morons who live on Facebook and say that “we need a Starbucks!” or “we need a drive-in movie theater!” and have IQs of about 86 and a net worth of $152. They haven’t the faintest clue that you need a certain sized population with a certain income level to support those types of businesses.
They think that because THEY like the idea and it “got a bunch of likes on Facebook” (yes, that really happened) that that makes it a viable business that will flourish and profit (yes, I’m looking at you Ashley Cain).
Of course, on their very next Facebook post, those same geniuses are begging people for $25 so they can ‘finish their schooling in crystal healing’ or begging for a free crib for their infant. In short, people with no money and no brains will not be good Starbucks customers. People WITH money and brains know this – which is why they won’t open a Starbucks in the first place. It would go out of business in about six weeks.
This basic fact of life is clearly lost on the “city planners” and the Lampasas Economic Development Corporation. The LEDC wastes piles of money on useless and fruitless endeavors every year: business parks, conventions, buzz words, brainstorming sessions, vision statements, Texas Municipal League conventions….and now $120,000.00 on a ‘survey’ from Halff Associates.
Out of curiosity, I finally went to waste 20 minutes of my life to take the survey – mainly to give a bunch of incorrect answers and throw off the results. Lo and behold, this big, expensive $120,000 project is actually just a survey on SurveyMonkey.com! Holy Christ! ANYBODY can go to SurveyMonkey and do their own survey! The basic plan is FREE!!! The most expensive is $75. Yet these City bozos and politicians just paid Halff Associates $120,000.00 to go and put up a survey for them! My god, how stupid can you be? They could have done this themselves FOR FREE or nearly free!
I have to hand it to Halff Associates. They look like consummate scam artists with this racket they are running. They go to some desperate dummy politicians and low-IQ City bureaucrats with the promise of “developing” the economy and “giving everyone a say in the community” or some other flowery bullshit. They charge them $120,000 for their “expertise” and then they just go to a WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS (surveymonkey.com) and throw up a survey in about 30 minutes! I bet they even use the exact same questions for every city they rip off with this scam! It’s already all written and ready to go! They are essentially stealing $120,000 from Lampasas for probably about 75 minutes of work.
When the dust settles, Lampasas will have wasted $120,000 on an essentially free service which will give answers from some of the dumbest people** in town. You gotta love government work.
[**Bruce Haywood approves of this survey]